Comic relief...

[saheewale]

New dictionary word...
Farouk (Verb):
To collect bribe and deny it, attributing evidence to video doctoring. Past tense: farouked
Example: To farouk is human
Farouker (Noun):
A person who farouks
Example: The National Assembly is populated with faroukers
Faroukee (Noun):
A person who is farouked
Example: The desperate contractor became a faroukee in order to win the business
Faroukology (Noun):
The study of bribe collection and denial of obvious evidence
Example: The politician has a degree in Faroukology from the University of Corruption
Faroukracy (Noun):
Government of bribery, by the bribe givers for the bribe takers
Example: Our nation has been practicing faroukracy from independence.
Faroukism(Noun) :
The political ideology of bribery, corruption and cover ups.
Example: EFCC has prosecuted many advocates of faroukism
Faroukiosis(Noun):
A chronic disorder of bribery taking and denial

[Salida]

What is Love and death?

Love is when your husband catches you naked with another man and tells you ''baby dress up lets go home''
... Death is when you then follow him home.

[Picolena66]

Hmmmm.............I must laugh in Japanesse

Nigeria: Lawan - I Received Money, Not Bribe *
The suspended Chairman of the House Ad-Hoc Committee on the Monitoring
of Subsidy Regime, Hon. Farouk Lawan, yesterday opened his defence of
the $620,000 bribery allegation levelled against him by the Chairman,
Zenon Oil and Gas, Mr. Femi Otedola.
allAfrica.com: Nigeria: Lawan - I Received Money, Not Bribe

[hispy99]

Originally Posted by Picolena66

Hmmmm.............I must laugh in Japanesse

Nigeria: Lawan - I Received Money, Not Bribe *
The suspended Chairman of the House Ad-Hoc Committee on the Monitoring
of Subsidy Regime, Hon. Farouk Lawan, yesterday opened his defence of
the $620,000 bribery allegation levelled against him by the Chairman,
Zenon Oil and Gas, Mr. Femi Otedola.
allAfrica.com: Nigeria: Lawan - I Received Money, Not Bribe

I got this from Nairaland

Farouk (Verb) :
To collect bribe and deny it, attributing evidence to video doctoring.

Past tense:
farouked (Noun)
Example: To farouk is human.

Farouker(Noun) : A person who farouks
Example: The National Assembly is populated with faroukers.

Faroukee (Noun): A person who is farouked
Example: The desperate
contractor became a faroukee in order to win the business.

Faroukology (Noun): The study of bribe collection and denial of obvious evidence.
Example: The politician has a degree in Faroukology from the University of Corruption.

Faroukracy (Noun): Government of bribery, by the bribe givers for the bribe takers
Example: Our nation has been practicing faroukracy from independence.

Faroukism(Noun): The political ideology of bribery, corruption and cover ups.
Example: EFCC has prosecuted many advocates of faroukism.

Faroukiosis(Noun): A chronic disorder of bribery taking and denial.
Example: The doctor diagnosed the young politician of acute faroukiosis.

Adjective
Faroukish: having the appearance of, or relating to bribery and denial.
Example: Results of the investigation appear really faroukish.

Adverb
Faroukistically: Carried out or done in a way that suggests a farouk.
Example: The lawmakers carried on faroukistically.

[Salida]

The 2012 Edition of Gulder Ultimate Search Is here! Forms are available for free. Damaturu, Yobe state is the venue, contestants are to go in search of Boko Haram leader, the winner will go home with 1Billion USD and all expense paid trip to the US. Hurry Now, Go Get Your Form!

[Oracle]

An Edo man invited his friends for his mother's burial.
After lowering the coffin, the family put yam, rice, meat etc, into the grave in line with tradition.

An Hausa man asked why? The Edo man smiled & said,
"According to our tradition, the dead go on a long journey & need all the food items they can get".
The Hausa man dropped N100,000 inside and said, "When the food finish, buy more".

The Yoruba man also dropped N50,000 and said, add this in case it’s not enough.

The Igbo man smiled and brought out his cheque book & wrote a cheque of N200,000, dropped it in the coffin & took the N150,000 notes as change, then said,

"Nwanne, withdraw when you reach dia o...it is going to be a dangerous journey we don’t know how many robbers are out there and afterall we are in a cashless economy na!
Travel well o!!!

[Salida]

Family Problems

Two men, one American and a Hindu Indian were sitting in a bar and discussing about their family problems.


Shot after shot, the Indian man said to the American: "We have problem in India . We can't marry the one whom we love. You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely and domesticated girl from a village whom I haven't even met once. We call this an arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love. I told my parents that openly and now have a hell of a lot of family problems."

The American said,"Talking about love marriages, in America we can marry the one we love.
Let me tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated her for three years. After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife is my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle. The situation turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my brother, is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems?" The Indian man fainted.

[pegheneji]

Originally Posted by Salida

Family Problems

Two men, one American and a Hindu Indian were sitting in a bar and discussing about their family problems.


Shot after shot, the Indian man said to the American: "We have problem in India . We can't marry the one whom we love. You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely and domesticated girl from a village whom I haven't even met once. We call this an arranged marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't love. I told my parents that openly and now have a hell of a lot of family problems."

The American said,"Talking about love marriages, in America we can marry the one we love.
Let me tell you my story. I married a widow whom I deeply loved and dated her for three years. After a couple of years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife is my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle. The situation turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my brother, is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson.

And you say you have family problems?" The Indian man fainted.

Hmmm! I don sleep

[Salida]

Chemistry Teacher: which chemical weapon is formed when you react: Potassium (K), Nickel (Ni) and Iron (Fe)?

Akpors: KNiFe

[Salida]

MA COUNTRY PEOPLE, WETIN HAPPEN NA?

Small thing Ogoni man go jump enter water like
fish. See Olympics go swim, ZERO medal.

Hausa man go enter boat dey shout Argungu
fishing festival. See rowing at the olympics, ZERO
medal.

Fulani herdsmen fit shoot arrow from 1km kill
anyone wey wan steal dem cow, Olympics reach
make dem go do archery dem no gree show face.

Igbo man will run from Sokoto to Aba at the
slightest provocation by Boko. See long distance
running at the olympic, ZERO medal.

Agbero for park no mind pursue bus for road. See
100meters race at Olympics, ZERO medal.

Yoruba man will remove clothe, wrist watch and
pant to fight at Ojuelegba. See boxing for Olympics,
Zero medal.

Warri man go say Warri no dey carry last...wetin
Blessing Okagbare, our own Warri girl dey do for
last na?

[Picolena66]

Originally Posted by Salida

MA COUNTRY PEOPLE, WETIN HAPPEN NA?

Small thing Ogoni man go jump enter water like
fish. See Olympics go swim, ZERO medal.

Hausa man go enter boat dey shout Argungu
fishing festival. See rowing at the olympics, ZERO
medal.

Fulani herdsmen fit shoot arrow from 1km kill
anyone wey wan steal dem cow, Olympics reach
make dem go do archery dem no gree show face.

Igbo man will run from Sokoto to Aba at the
slightest provocation by Boko. See long distance
running at the olympic, ZERO medal.

Agbero for park no mind pursue bus for road. See
100meters race at Olympics, ZERO medal.

Yoruba man will remove clothe, wrist watch and
pant to fight at Ojuelegba. See boxing for Olympics,
Zero medal.

Warri man go say Warri no dey carry last...wetin
Blessing Okagbare, our own Warri girl dey do for
last na?

Hmmm.............On a more serious note though MEND could have provided alot of contestants in the shooting category

With their Sniper 20:20 Vision and a steady hand who knows how many medals they could have brought home

[pegheneji]

Originally Posted by Salida

MA COUNTRY PEOPLE, WETIN HAPPEN NA?

Small thing Ogoni man go jump enter water like
fish. See Olympics go swim, ZERO medal.

Hausa man go enter boat dey shout Argungu
fishing festival. See rowing at the olympics, ZERO
medal.

Fulani herdsmen fit shoot arrow from 1km kill
anyone wey wan steal dem cow, Olympics reach
make dem go do archery dem no gree show face.

Igbo man will run from Sokoto to Aba at the
slightest provocation by Boko. See long distance
running at the olympic, ZERO medal.

Agbero for park no mind pursue bus for road. See
100meters race at Olympics, ZERO medal.

Yoruba man will remove clothe, wrist watch and
pant to fight at Ojuelegba. See boxing for Olympics,
Zero medal.

Warri man go say Warri no dey carry last...wetin
Blessing Okagbare, our own Warri girl dey do for
last na?:D

she was counting the numbers running with her

[Salida]

Father-In-Law : Young man,you’re coming to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage and you’re chewing gum.That’s a sign of disrespect!...

Man: Sir, I only chew gum when I drink or smoke.

Father-In-Law: You mean you drink and smoke and you’re here to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage?

Man: Sir I only drink & smoke when i go to the club.

Father-In-Law: You club too?.

Man: I’m sorry sir, I started clubbing when i came out of prison.

Father-In-Law: You’ve also been in prison before? Oh my God!.

Man: Sorry sir, I went to jail when I killed somebody..

Father-In-Law: What!!! You’re a killer???

Man: Sir, It happened out of anger. It was a certain man that didn’t allow me to marry his daughter so i killed him.

Father-In-Law: You are highly welcome my son. You are on the right track. You’re absolutely the right man for
my daughter..

[Picolena66]

Nigeria: Nigeria More Corrupt Today - IBB *
Former military president, General Ibrahim Badamasi Babangida, has
dismissed insinuations that his regime institutionalised corruption
and declared that the scourge is more rampant today than in his time.
allAfrica.com: Nigeria More Corrupt Today - IBB

Hmmmmmmmm.............Dear POT Please do not Insult Kettle by calling him Black:rolleyes:

[pegheneji]

Originally Posted by Salida

Father-In-Law : Young man,you’re coming to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage and you’re chewing gum.That’s a sign of disrespect!...

Man: Sir, I only chew gum when I drink or smoke.

Father-In-Law: You mean you drink and smoke and you’re here to seek my daughter’s hand in marriage?

Man: Sir I only drink & smoke when i go to the club.

Father-In-Law: You club too?.

Man: I’m sorry sir, I started clubbing when i came out of prison.

Father-In-Law: You’ve also been in prison before? Oh my God!.

Man: Sorry sir, I went to jail when I killed somebody..

Father-In-Law: What!!! You’re a killer???

Man: Sir, It happened out of anger. It was a certain man that didn’t allow me to marry his daughter so i killed him.

Father-In-Law: You are highly welcome my son. You are on the right track. You’re absolutely the right man for
my daughter..

[hispy99]

IBB: Pray for the Survival of Nigeria, Articles | THISDAY LIVE

[Picolena66]

BBC News - Farmer bites cobra to death in Nepal

Hmmm...........Oga farmer next time do follow Uk guidelines on dealing with snake....Na wa o the poor snake

[Salida]

With the new currency structure proposed by the CBN, how will the Nigerian Police officers on the Highways cope with a N20 coin?

[Salida]

A little boy was in a taxi,eating chocolate.
As he puts more in his mouth,a man sitting close to him watched him closely. Then the man said "don't you know that too much of chocolates can damage your teeth? "

The boy replied, " my granfather lived for good 150yrs before he died."

Then the man asked,"Was it because of eating chocolate?"

The boy replied, "No, he was always minding his own business"

[Salida]

Chinese man escapes death after mailing self to girlfriend — The Punch - Nigeria's Most Widely Read Newspaper