Comic relief...

[Salida]

A Hausa couple went to London & lodged in a hotel.....
At night the husband heard his wife screaming "bera bera" (Mouse)!
So he called the room service to complain but he didn't know the English word for "bera"!!!
Husband: Halo rum zabice???
Room Service: Yes Sir how can I help you?
Husband: Errr... You know am for Tom & Jerry??
Room Service: Yes Sir...
Husband: Wallahi Jerry is here fa!!!

[emmanuel ewumi]

Got this from my facebook account

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN AND A BOY
A BOY keeps a password on his cellphone
While a MAN is confident enough to say
"Baby can you answer that for me"!!
A BOY runs the streets & chill with his friends
While a MAN is enjoying time with his woman planning ahead for their future!
A BOY complains about spending too much time with his woman
A MAN plans vacations & getaways because he is wise enough to notice tomorrow isn't promised!
A BOY has pride after arguments
A MAN has heart & emotions
A BOY beats on his woman
A MAN massages & caresses his woman!
A BOY will Tell his friends n people he meets how BAD his Woman his
A MAN will say nice things About his Woman cos he knows NOBODY is Perfect
A BOY tells his woman all the things she does wrong
A MAN acknowledges his woman's hard work n over look her errors!
A BOY tells his woman she is sexy
A MAN tells his woman she is beautiful!
A BOY thinks all domestic jobs are 4 women
A MAN helps his Woman both @ home n outside
A BOY thinks all the MEN who comment on a girl's PIX\write up is her BOYFriend
A MAN knows that a beautiful lady must have admirers but she can't date all
A BOY loves ABORTION
A MAN loves CHILDREN
A BOY envy his Woman
A MAN support his WOMAN
A BOY don't take care of his Woman but still want her to look GOOD
A MAN takes care of his Woman cos he knows if he doesn't another MAN will do it
A BOY lie @ all times
A MAN tells the TRUTH n Beg 4 forgiveness if Need be
A BOY is always fighting
A MAN makes PEACE
A BOY will read this & think this is about him
A MAN will read this & thoroughly acknowledge what he needs to fix in his relationship.

[pegheneji]

Originally Posted by emmanuel ewumi

Got this from my facebook account

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MAN AND A BOY
A BOY keeps a password on his cellphone
While a MAN is confident enough to say
"Baby can you answer that for me"!!
A BOY runs the streets & chill with his friends
While a MAN is enjoying time with his woman planning ahead for their future!
A BOY complains about spending too much time with his woman
A MAN plans vacations & getaways because he is wise enough to notice tomorrow isn't promised!
A BOY has pride after arguments
A MAN has heart & emotions
A BOY beats on his woman
A MAN massages & caresses his woman!
A BOY will Tell his friends n people he meets how BAD his Woman his
A MAN will say nice things About his Woman cos he knows NOBODY is Perfect
A BOY tells his woman all the things she does wrong
A MAN acknowledges his woman's hard work n over look her errors!
A BOY tells his woman she is sexy
A MAN tells his woman she is beautiful!
A BOY thinks all domestic jobs are 4 women
A MAN helps his Woman both @ home n outside
A BOY thinks all the MEN who comment on a girl's PIXwrite up is her BOYFriend
A MAN knows that a beautiful lady must have admirers but she can't date all
A BOY loves ABORTION
A MAN loves CHILDREN
A BOY envy his Woman
A MAN support his WOMAN
A BOY don't take care of his Woman but still want her to look GOOD
A MAN takes care of his Woman cos he knows if he doesn't another MAN will do it
A BOY lie @ all times
A MAN tells the TRUTH n Beg 4 forgiveness if Need be
A BOY is always fighting
A MAN makes PEACE
A BOY will read this & think this is about him
A MAN will read this & thoroughly acknowledge what he needs to fix in his relationship.

A boy wets the eyes of his woman, where does a man wet?

[Oracle]

Originally Posted by pegheneji

A boy wets the eyes of his woman, where does a man wet?

Madam Peggy, you be woman amongst us, abeg tell us where man dey wet?

[netotse]

Egbon Emma you dey vex o...why na comic relief you come post this? why no be food for thought?

[Salida]

Bad market for 419er subdued by Ayo.
Excerpt:
Mr. 419: Hello, how are you?
Ayo: Fine. Pls, who am I speaking with?
Mr 419: Haba, don't you remember me? Who do you know in the UK that could be calling?
(Sensing a scam, Ayo threw in a trap…)
Ayo: Johnson! Is that you?
(Meanwhile, Ayo doesn't know any Johnson in UK)
(Thinking it's a break, the fraudster swallows the bait)
Mr. 419: Of course, this is Johnson! How come you didn't recognize my voice initially?
(Ayo now certain it's a scam, decides to punish him verbally and financially. He had the time that morning so he was going to help him waste his call credit.)
Ayo: Jooooooohnson! Kai! Omo buruku gbaa ni e o! (You are a very bad boy). Your father died, you didn't so much as show up or send a note. Omo a se iru e fun e o! (Your children will repay you with such). Didn't you hear about his death? He was so bitter and full of original and heavy curses for you.
Mr. 419 (Obviously subdued): I didn’t hear. I would have come.
Ayo: Too bad. I hope you heard your mama has leprosy too or you didn't hear about that, abi?
Mr. 419: (Now uncomfortable) No, I didn’t hear.
Ayo: (Enjoying himself thoroughly) Too bad! Is your wife that foolish too? Not even a word from her after you folks married without our blessings? If the husband is not wise, is the wife lame-witted too?
Mr. 419: She's fine. I'm certain she'll get across to you. There's an issue…
Ayo: (breaking in before he begins his story) Ah! Jooohnson, O se mi o (you offended me). I sent you money to buy me a car and you just disappeared. When am I having my money back? Do want me to curse you too like your father did? I don’t have his kind of patience o! I'm sure you know. I won't wait that long before I give you what you deserve. Epe buruku niun se fun o! (I'll pronounce wicked curses on you)
Mr. 419: (Grunted). This issue is important.
Ayo: Shut up!! When are you sending money home? Haba! We sent you to school, clothed you and sent you abroad, Are you now a 419?
(PHONE CUTS)
LWKMD.Enjoy your weekend;

[pegheneji]

Originally Posted by Salida

Bad market for 419er subdued by Ayo.
Excerpt:
Mr. 419: Hello, how are you?
Ayo: Fine. Pls, who am I speaking with?
Mr 419: Haba, don't you remember me? Who do you know in the UK that could be calling?
(Sensing a scam, Ayo threw in a trap…)
Ayo: Johnson! Is that you?
(Meanwhile, Ayo doesn't know any Johnson in UK)
(Thinking it's a break, the fraudster swallows the bait)
Mr. 419: Of course, this is Johnson! How come you didn't recognize my voice initially?
(Ayo now certain it's a scam, decides to punish him verbally and financially. He had the time that morning so he was going to help him waste his call credit.)
Ayo: Jooooooohnson! Kai! Omo buruku gbaa ni e o! (You are a very bad boy). Your father died, you didn't so much as show up or send a note. Omo a se iru e fun e o! (Your children will repay you with such). Didn't you hear about his death? He was so bitter and full of original and heavy curses for you.
Mr. 419 (Obviously subdued): I didn’t hear. I would have come.
Ayo: Too bad. I hope you heard your mama has leprosy too or you didn't hear about that, abi?
Mr. 419: (Now uncomfortable) No, I didn’t hear.
Ayo: (Enjoying himself thoroughly) Too bad! Is your wife that foolish too? Not even a word from her after you folks married without our blessings? If the husband is not wise, is the wife lame-witted too?
Mr. 419: She's fine. I'm certain she'll get across to you. There's an issue…
Ayo: (breaking in before he begins his story) Ah! Jooohnson, O se mi o (you offended me). I sent you money to buy me a car and you just disappeared. When am I having my money back? Do want me to curse you too like your father did? I don’t have his kind of patience o! I'm sure you know. I won't wait that long before I give you what you deserve. Epe buruku niun se fun o! (I'll pronounce wicked curses on you)
Mr. 419: (Grunted). This issue is important.
Ayo: Shut up!! When are you sending money home? Haba! We sent you to school, clothed you and sent you abroad, Are you now a 419?
(PHONE CUTS)
LWKMD.Enjoy your weekend;

this na Dupe dupe the dupe. the dupe fear when he see wetin pass am

[emmanuel ewumi]

Got this from my facebook account


Who owns a man? His Mother or Wife?
Mother: my son must obey me unless he didnt suck my breast 4 1yr.
Wife: he sucks mine now n sucked it 4 more than 5yrs n stil suckin.
Mother: i carried him 4 nine mnths.
Wife: he was only 3.5kg then, so whts d big deal? I carry him evry night n he's 85kg now.
Mother: he passed between my legs.
Wife: hahaha, he only passed there once, he stays in - between my legs like evryday.... Oro pesi je o(End of discussion)

[waaan5]

Mrs. Agathe's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told him, “I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. Oh, and by the waydon't worry about my Doberman. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT under ANY circumstances talk to my parrot!” When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Agathe's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Doberman he had ever seen. But just as she had said, the dog simply laid there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the whole time the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!” To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”

[emmanuel ewumi]

HARD FACTS with CHUKS (99.3 Lagos)

WEIRD NEWS:Court orders man to stop having children

A US judge has ordered a man with nine children to stop procreating until he can afford to support them.

Seriously ??!! Perhaps Nigerian courts can begin to order parents whose children wander the streets homeless, wiping the windshield of cars or begging to DESIST from having any more children... Perhaps.
Read the full story below and tell me what you think.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Corey Curtis, 44, of Racine, Wisconsin, was told to stop breeding as a condition of probation until he can financially support his nine children from six different women.

Racine County Judge Tim Boyle sentenced Curtis to the rare punishment as a condition of a three-year probation order for failing to pay $50,000 in child support, plus another $40,000 in interest.

"Common sense dictates you shouldn't have kids you can't afford," Judge Boyle said. "I will make that a condition of the probation."

Curtis told newsmen that he plans to comply with the condition.

"Judges, they make rulings," he said, "they make them kind of hastily. So, if that's what he feels one of my conditions should be then I'm going to abide by it."

Court records showed that Curtis has been arrested and charged with failure to pay child support on numerous occasions over the past 11 years.
HARD FACTS with CHUKS (99.3 Lagos) WEIRD NEWS:Court orders man to stop having children A US judge has ordered a man with nine children to stop procreating until he can afford to support them. Seriously ??!! Perhaps Nigerian courts can begin to order parents whose children wander the streets homeless, wiping the windshield of cars or begging to DESIST from having any more children... Perhaps. Read the full story below and tell me what you think. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Corey Curtis, 44, of Racine, Wisconsin, was told to stop breeding as a condition of probation until he can financially support his nine children from six different women. Racine County Judge Tim Boyle sentenced Curtis to the rare punishment as a condition of a three-year probation order for failing to pay $50,000 in child support, plus another $40,000 in interest. "Common sense dictates you shouldn't have kids you can't afford," Judge Boyle said. "I will make that a condition of the probation." Curtis told newsmen that he plans to comply with the condition. "Judges, they make rulings," he said, "they make them kind of hastily. So, if that's what he feels one of my conditions should be then I'm going to abide by it." Court records showed that Curtis has been arrested and charged with failure to pay child support on numerous occasions over the past 11 years.

[emmanuel ewumi]

Originally Posted by emmanuel ewumi

HARD FACTS with CHUKS (99.3 Lagos)

WEIRD NEWS:Court orders man to stop having children

A US judge has ordered a man with nine children to stop procreating until he can afford to support them.

Seriously ??!! Perhaps Nigerian courts can begin to order parents whose children wander the streets homeless, wiping the windshield of cars or begging to DESIST from having any more children... Perhaps.
Read the full story below and tell me what you think.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Corey Curtis, 44, of Racine, Wisconsin, was told to stop breeding as a condition of probation until he can financially support his nine children from six different women.

Racine County Judge Tim Boyle sentenced Curtis to the rare punishment as a condition of a three-year probation order for failing to pay $50,000 in child support, plus another $40,000 in interest.

"Common sense dictates you shouldn't have kids you can't afford," Judge Boyle said. "I will make that a condition of the probation."

Curtis told newsmen that he plans to comply with the condition.

"Judges, they make rulings," he said, "they make them kind of hastily. So, if that's what he feels one of my conditions should be then I'm going to abide by it."

Court records showed that Curtis has been arrested and charged with failure to pay child support on numerous occasions over the past 11 years.
HARD FACTS with CHUKS (99.3 Lagos) WEIRD NEWS:Court orders man to stop having children A US judge has ordered a man with nine children to stop procreating until he can afford to support them. Seriously ??!! Perhaps Nigerian courts can begin to order parents whose children wander the streets homeless, wiping the windshield of cars or begging to DESIST from having any more children... Perhaps. Read the full story below and tell me what you think. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Corey Curtis, 44, of Racine, Wisconsin, was told to stop breeding as a condition of probation until he can financially support his nine children from six different women. Racine County Judge Tim Boyle sentenced Curtis to the rare punishment as a condition of a three-year probation order for failing to pay $50,000 in child support, plus another $40,000 in interest. "Common sense dictates you shouldn't have kids you can't afford," Judge Boyle said. "I will make that a condition of the probation." Curtis told newsmen that he plans to comply with the condition. "Judges, they make rulings," he said, "they make them kind of hastily. So, if that's what he feels one of my conditions should be then I'm going to abide by it." Court records showed that Curtis has been arrested and charged with failure to pay child support on numerous occasions over the past 11 years.

They should free the Man. What about the ladies that allowed a jobless man to impregnate them.

[migiets]

Obasanjo dances Gangnam style in Ghana


"Former President Olusegun Obasanjo, who recently led an ECOWAS team of observer to monitor the Ghana's general election, thrilled voters, electoral officials and fellow observers with the gangnam style dance step."

Obasanjo dances Gangnam style in Ghana - YouTube

[overload]

Originally Posted by migiets

Obasanjo dances Gangnam style in Ghana


"Former President Olusegun Obasanjo, who recently led an ECOWAS team of observer to monitor the Ghana's general election, thrilled voters, electoral officials and fellow observers with the gangnam style dance step."

Obasanjo dances Gangnam style in Ghana - YouTube

baba no dey carry last! if this guy had gone in comedy business am sure he would have made more money than Mr Bean..

[Salida]

Worst Job in the world | Funny Videos

Worst job in the world la?

[Salida]

NAIJA RUNS GIRL

NAIJA RUNS GIRL - YouTube

NAIJA RUNS GIRL MAKEUP

NAIJA RUNS GIRL MAKEUP - YouTube

[Salida]

Bling! - YouTube

[migiets]

A rich man's son who was classmate to Akpos told him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret & that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."

So Akpos decided to go home & try it out. He got home & as he is greeted by his mother he said, "Mama, I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him N500 & said,"Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, he waited for his father to get home from work & on arrival his greeting to His father was "Papa, I know the whole truth." His father quickly took him aside & gave him N1000 saying "just don't tell your mother".

Wow! Amazed by this, he ran out to meet the gate man saying" I know the whole truth"! The gate man quickly dropped the padlock & embraced him really tight and said" oh I happy say u don know say na me be ur Papa.....!!

Akpos fainted!!!!

[migiets]

Just 4 Laffs.

No.1
A man was so jealous of his newly born baby boy that he put cyanide poison on his wife's nipples while she was asleep. The next day, their driver died of cyanide poisoning.

No2
A man is dying of cancer, but keeps telling people he is dying of AIDS.
His son asked Dad why?. He answered, so that when I am dead, no one will sleep with your mum.

No3
A lady lost three panties in her house in the same week their new housegirl resumed and blamed her maid in front of the husband for stealing. Maid said sir you are my witness that I did not take them because you know I never wear panties.


No 4
Couple is having a quickie and their 6 year old catches them,
Son: "What are you doing?" Ask the son.
Father: "I’m putting petrol on your Mom."
Son: "Haauu - Haauu! Which means Mom’s engine is taking too much petrol cause Mr Zwane has put in yesterday."
Mother fainted!

No 5
A man went to the pub with his wife.
When he left for the counter to buy drinks a prostitute approached his wife & whispered:
"You must DEMAND cash before sex because I know him. He doesn't pay!
*********************************

No 6
An 8 year old boy is accused of rape*.
In court his lady lawyer holds his dick out as evidence saying, "Your honour see this, can he rape* with this tiny tot?
The boy whispers, "Don't shake it, we'll lose the case!"

[emmanuel ewumi]

Got this from Nairaland


1)Garri No Get Advert, But E Sell Pass Indomie

2)No Matter How Tom tom sell, E No Go Sell Pass Slippers

3)If You Never Thief Meat From Pot B4, Then You Mama No Sabbi Cook

4)A Girl Who Laffs @ Your dry Joke during a first date doesn't have transport money to get back Home

5)The only woman who knows where her man is every Night is a "Widow"

6)Bowen university is the only uni you find people kissing wif there both eyes wild open, so as not to get Caught.....

7)Say Hausa Man Poor, No mean say him NO fit afford to buy Transitor Radio

8 )U cant kneel down to greet ur parent but u can Kneel to give ur BF heads, una go explain 4 judgment day o

9)If the Alarm of a China fone cannot wake you up.....Forget it u r "DEAD"

10)To listen to CoolFM, just put ur radio in a Fridge

11)Is a small world no mean say u go trek from ur house reach malaysia o0

12) no matter how may views these get moderator no go take am go front page.

[Salida]

Power was interrupted at a PHCN office in Lagos and the new employee still under probation erupted with a shout: "Awon Oloriburuku.....(people wey dem head don spoil)"

They say she is back at home looking for a job.